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On Friday, I shared with all of you how my stomach is one of my biggest insecurities. The picture on the left is what my stomach looked like after having lost 80lbs. I was the smallest I’d ever been in my adult life, I monitored every piece of food that went into my mouth, I did cardio 5-6 times a week and lifted 5-6 times a week. My level of commitment was intense. Borderline psychotic.

I was so disappointed that I had worked so hard and fought so hard to become this version of myself only to have this constant remirnder of the 10+ years (from when my mom died forward) that I found comfort in food.

I got so much attention from guys everywhere I went because I exuded an enormous amount of confidence - with clothes on. But the thought of being in even a two piece bathing suit was out of the question. I always joked that I was complete false advertising with clothes on. I looked like I had this tiny body, flat stomach and big boobs because I wore clothes that flattered me in all the right places. But when the clothes come off, I had pancake boobs down to my belly button (slight exaggeration) and this upside down heart shaped bag of skin hanging.

Now before you start in on me about how I didn’t need to be getting naked in front of any men - this was a very different time of my life & I thought that men could fill the void I felt. Live & learn.

I lost all my weight in 2006. I fought like crazy for 6 years to transform my body. But loose skin will only shrink so much. I was making really good money, I had paid off all my debt and felt that I had earned the right to explore my options to have the skin removed.

I decided to have Laser Lipo done (sometimes called Smart Lipo). They make incisions at various points on your body and insert the laser into your body separating the fat cells from the skin. The skin will shrink because it’s essentially like getting 3rd or 4th degree burns on the underside of the skin and the burn pulls the skin taunt.

It looked amazing after the procedure but as my body healed and things went back to normal, I started getting divots under the skin from where more fat had been removed in that one particular spot, or the skin didn’t adhere the same, etc.

The reason I did laser Lipo over a tummy tuck was because I fully intended on having kids. If I cut off a large amount of skin pre-babies, there would be a chance that I would get exponentially more stretch marks when pregnant (since I’m clearly predisposed to them - not all women get them to this degree) and there was less chance of the skin retracting after giving birth.

With this option, unlike a tummy tuck, I was left with all my lovely stretch marks. I spent another $400 after having spent $8k on the laser Lipo to have laser resurfacing done on the stretch marks. I’m not sure which was more painful. It did help to tighten the skin some more and reduce the size of the stretch marks, but nothing will remove them.

I say all of this to say - the girl on the left is just as beautiful as the girl on the right.

I am not ashamed of my decision to have a procedure done to reduce the excess skin or improve the appearance of the stretch marks.

I worked hard for this body & I worked hard for every dollar I earned that I put into it.

Loose skin is a reality of extreme weight loss. It’s even worse if you lose the weight rapidly.

Our bodies are such incredible masterpieces. The way they work is mind-blowing. I remember going through a 3-4 month plateau. I was so pissed. But that’s because I didn’t understand and appreciate what my body was doing FOR me. Your skin rebuilds itself in a years time. I could write a novel about collagen production, cell turnover, being properly hydrated, etc. to help with tightening the skin during your weight loss journey.

There is a reason why weight loss is a PROCESS that your body goes through. And a SLOW one at that. If you trust the process, give yourself the time and be committed, I guarantee you will be so thankful you did.

I understand that some people believe that weight loss surgery is the best option for them & I know there are some people that had they not taken that route, it could have cost them their life. But it’s important to know what to expect going into it - realistically. The impacts of losing weight that quickly and how it effects the body (not just loose skin). I just challenge you to really explore the dangers vs the benefits. Read people’s “what I wish I would have known” experiences. I wrote a blog about my experience with laser Lipo because I wanted people to know what it’s REALLY like. I posted regularly with updates and what the pain was like, the recovery was like, etc.

Clearly, I could never pass judgment on someone for having an elective surgery. We do what we think is best. I am simply sharing my perspective and what I’ve learned

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Do I regret doing the procedure? Not often but at times. I question if I tried hard enough. Waited long enough.

Did I know enough to make the best decision? Probably not. What I know now about the body and how it works, I wonder what might have been.

BUT - here I am now. Proud of the woman I’ve become. Proud of the lessons I’ve learned. Proud of the insecurities I’ve overcome. Proud of my commitment to staying the healthiest version of myself.

The most important thing I can bestow upon any one of you is to love yourself no matter what society says, no matter what Cosmo says, no matter what you see in movies, etc. We have to stop judging ourselves. We have to stop measuring ourselves against a false reality. Hello photoshop and video editing. Our standards of beauty are based on unrealistic expeditions.

You. Are. Beautiful.
You. Are. Worthy.
You. Are. Enough.

& I love you just the way you are 💕

but I am not afraid to tell you that there are some decisions that you have to make regarding your health & becoming the best version of yourself 💪🏼when you are ready, I am here 💗